Ks Are Wild

It was well beyond a year overdue. I’ve been saying it forever. They’ve gone through two babies and two toddlerhoods of wrenching off my face and tweaking. They were so crooked, loose, and paint bespeckled not to mention weak in prescription. I wanted to get them by Christmas, then by my birthday, then by Kosette’s birthday party (because I new lots of pics would be taken), then by LA (because you gotta be up to style when you visit there), and then, finally, it became imperative.

They broke. Right in half at the bridge of the nose. And, of course, it had to happen when I was in a hurry getting ready in the morning. And where do you get ready in the morning?…In the bathroom…And what is in the bathroom?….A toilet….And what would you least likely want to have in the toilet if you were to accidentally drop something in it?…No not that! But almost as bad – we try to be environmentally conscientious so we practice the “If it’s yellow let it mellow” gig at night, so…..

After two weeks of gorilla glue and white electrical tape, I finally have new frames. Herma came with me and helped me choose. Sooooo helpful. Always good to have a trusted and frank second opinion. I love them. They’re frameless so they’re light as a feather and I hardly notice them. Closest thing to contacts and surgery. I feel like me again. I was so sick of my iris being visually cut in half by my frames not to mention them falling in the dirt while gardening, sink while doing the dishes, and..lest we forget…the toilet.

Tortoise shell cat frames I bought in France in 2001 RIP.

Maybe I’ll even actually bother with mascara every now and again.

Oh, and Herma cut my hair for me. I haven’t even had a trim since last July (the last time I went to LA – see a trend here?) if you can believe that! I asked her to angle it and layer it a bit. She’s an ICU nurse, not a hairstylist but she likes doing stuff like that like me. Besides, I was desperate at that point because it was getting snarly and ending up in a braid the whole time. The nice thing about having wavy/curly hair is that it’s very forgiving to crooked cuts. But she did a great job I think. Thanks Herma. That was a big weight off my shoulders. badumbum crash.

Companies are blatantly preying upon people’s ignorant homophobic beliefs and fears to sell product. And I’ve been perturbed by a lot of homophobic tv commercials and stuff I’ve seen in shows recently (by “recently” I mean in the last few years).

You may remember the big hooplah last year after the Superbowl regarding the Snickers commercial where two men accidentally eat the same Snickers bar simultaneously and end up kissing like in Lady and the Tramp with the spaghetti. But then they freak out and have to do something “manly” lest anyone mistake them for actually being gay or making homosexual advances. See it here:

Snickers Superbowl commercial Mechanics kiss chest hair

Rosie O’Donnell discussed it a bit on the view:

Rosie O\’Donnel on the view talks about Snickers Commercial

GLAD sued and won a defamation lawsuit after it aired. Snickers also put two alternate endings on their website:

1. reaction was to drink motor oil and anti-freeze

2. reaction was to slam the other one’s head in or on the hood of the car

PLUS they included a video clip of a bunch of real football players reaction while watching the commercial. Of course it was rampant with loud aversions and homophobic comments. Just as not everything is straight down the line in agreements, many members of the gay community thought it poked fun at the homophobia and thought the community should get a little more of a sense of humor about themselves. I have noticed the increased visual content or hinting of gay relationships in commercials and I think it’s great that we actually showed a gay kiss on an average commercial. After all, commercials are shown in tremendous repetition so as to ingrain the product into our brains and our desire to purchase it. However, all that I’ve seen, always end with the flip side overreaction/overcompensation suggestions and inference that the gay act is bad and they have to either justify it, call it an accident of some means (implying that no people would or should willingly participate in gay acts), or rectify it by doing something in the hetero machismo extreme. And that does more damage than I think than not having any representative sample. It ranks right up there with there having only been white Barbies and white dolls. If I were African American or chicana or japanese or whatever, I think I’d have a craving for something I could relate to too. Same goes with characters in cartoons, tvs, or movies. We may be getting a teensy bit better with racial inclusion but not in the gay representative arena. I think I’d want to see more shows where my love and ways of loving were portrayed, and portrayed positively. Or at the very least, that I shouldn’t be somehow physically punished by acting on my love like beating my head on a car hood.

But no matter how you felt about those commercials, Snickers has an entirely new lineup which leaves no question of their homophobic sentiments. They all star Mr. T of the tv show A-Team fame. He’s also a born-again Christian. Here’s a quick article of him talking about his faith (http://www.beliefnet.com/story/201/story_20189_1.html). Well Mr. T, the fool is you that I pity and forgive for your misguided, ignorant homophic beliefs and practices with these commercials. Because, if you truly meant to “help inspire people to be better human beings” I think you failed at your faith’s mission. All your ads seem to do is inspire violence and detestation of those who differ from the perfect, macho, hetero man stereotype – who has to play the manliest, sweatiest, bloodiest, most violent, most socially accepted sport to even be considered hu(man) by you and your product’s manufacturers.

The ads I saw yesterday were shocking; so shocking that it outraged me enough to actually write about it on my blog.

Mr. T Snickers Commercial Speedwalker

Snickers commercial Mr. T soccer

Now, here, I’d definitely agree with GLAD that it encourages acts of violence against effeminant men or men doing anything remotely in the female gender sphere, anyone less than the machoist of men where no one would dare doubt his sexual identity or preference. “Get some nuts”?! I hope someone sues their ass to the poorhouse. I am getting some nuts and kicking your company where it hurts -the pocketbook. I’m not going to buy or eat your (*$*&^%** candy bar EVER again.

A host on NPR posted an open letter protesting it

In finishing this couple day long post, I see that Mars, owner of Snickers, is now pulling it off the air for exactly those reasons but doesn’t understand the reasons why people are upset. Right. Advertising is researched to death. I’m sure they knew the implications but let’s face it, the majority of the populace they’re selling to doesn’t, wouldn’t, or is too ignorant or damned lazy to object.

Oh, and we mustn’t forget the new Nike print ads. A picture is worth a thousand words right? Many feature head-in-groin stop motion shots with words plastered across the page of one of the following sayings:

“That ain’t right!”

“Your mama won’t let you come home after this.”

“What would she tell the neighbors?”

The majority of people won’t see the nominal sports reference. They’re going to see the thinly veiled message that man-on-man contact in any way is wrong, even if it happens accidentally in sports. And remember, it’s not just adults seeing these ads in Maxim or Sports Illustrated. They’re plastered all over buses, subway stations, and billboards where young formative minds can see them and learn social mores from. I would think that young children might glean, if it’s important enough to plaster across gigantic billboards in the most public of spaces like a PSA (Public Service Announcement), that it must be a very important thing for me to know and avoid because PSAs are rarely positive in nature; they’re mostly warnings.

Many people have written about this much better than I, including Michaelagnelo Signoreli (see political blog, the Gist in my links) so I’m not going to bother too much here other than my additional two cents. Here’s what he had to say:

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Nike’s Nasty Ad

I am going to throw out the few bits of Nike crap I have. Joe gets it exactly right: There is no other explanation for what Nike is doing with this ad:
Non-consensual tea-bagging = gay-mocking hilarity. Yup, a regular riot. Nike is playing on the inherent homophobia of straight athletes, men who must continually compensate for their sweaty physical contact with other males by simultaneously bleating about their heterosexuality at the same time they accuse each other of secretly enjoying all that manly man-touching.

What is Nike selling here besides the idea that gay sex is humiliating?

————————————————————————————–

I also went searching you tube to find that and others to back up my claim. Here’s one from the past; a horrendous homophobic one from the 50s that also clearly confuses homosexuality with pedafilia.

Homophobic 50s tv ad

Anyhow, no more Snickers, marsbars, or Nike for me.

With my husband. I asked him out, and can you believe it? I was actually nervous. What’s it been – 12 years?! But for our little life it’s a big date – involving reading a book beforehand, a babysitter, a picnic, and a play. Oregon State does a “Bard in the Quad” every summer where they perform a Shakespearean play and people picnic before in a grassy area. This year it’s A Midsummer’s Night’s Dream. It sounds a little like summers at The Hollywood Bowl in California. Good times those. I even worked there for a short time taking phone orders for premade picnics for the rich box seating.

Kham and I always talked about reading something simultaneously to discuss it together but haven’t quite gotten around to it. You know how it goes. So I saw this flyer in a store front and seized the day:

http://oregonstate.edu/bardinthequad/index.html

Kham has not had the pleasure of reading it but I’ve read it before a couple times with my Youth Group back in the day (so it goes when the two brilliant women leading us were English majors, writers, editors and lovers of all things literary). But I’m rereading it since it has been, EGADS almost 20 years. I remember it being one of the “easier” ones to comprehend without tutelage. I never thought I’d be a person who didn’t read the classics outside of school requirements but man, it sure is laborious for my brain after a full day’s worth of whining and bickering and constant stream of chatter and questions that can be my daughter. I’m a little rusty. Actually checked out a helpful book or two from the ol’ library in case I needed some explanations.

It brings back very pleasant memories though, of reading aloud and acting together in their den. So much laughter, so many smiles, such a supportive and loving and fair atmosphere. The Monty Python jokes abounded and Bob Marley would play during our breaks in the kitchen. I wholeheartedly miss those times and yearn to experience that community feeling again. I’ve felt prickles of it with the formation of Kosette’s brand new charter school of 60+ students and sitting in on meetings, helping choose, teachers, painting their classrooms and cleaning up…but more on that another time.

I’m really looking forward to it. Now, aside from red wine, what to cook for our picnic? Any suggestions?

I may have mentioned that we don’t really have tv. We have rabbit ears in two rooms that get PBS and a fuzzy station or two. I was able to watch a jumpy fuzzy “Dancing with the Stars” which is all I mostly care about on Network tv anyway. But since every station is going digital, including PBS, and you have to get a converter box for $80 per television, I don’t think we’ll have that for a while. But never fear, we have Netflix. God Bless Netflix! The variety is awesome (except for the fact that Blockbuster has worked some exclusive deals with movies now that makes it impossible to rent it anywhere else, which just plain seems illegal) and I love not having to deal with going to and from a store, worry about return times, or overwhelmed by all the choices on the shelves. And I love keeping a queue.

But just because we haven’t had cable doesn’t mean we (by that I mean mostly “I” since I am the main tv viewer in this household) don’t watch those shows. I/we tend to love Showtime and HBO productions. But there are some network things like West Wing, Alias, and The Office that we were able to catch up on through Netflix and watch the present season online. Shows I’ve especially liked on cable and recommend are: ***Six Feet Under****, Rome, Deadwood, Sex and the City, Queer as Folk, The L Word, The Sopranos (I’m still on the first part of Season 6 though), and Weeds.

Anyhoo, we just committed ourselves to a new series (I say “committed” because I become obsessed like I do with a book series and want to burn through them until we’ve caught up); another Showtime show called The Tudors about the whole Henry’s 6 wives and Anne Boleyn beheading saga. Since we’re both history buffs, him a historic weaponry and me with costuming and women’s studies, and since I just completed all those Philippa Gregory novels about the same thing, I thought it would be fun. We’re both really into it and find it fun to look up historical discrepancies and do more research on people or events we’d never heard about or no longer remember from our schoolyears. It’s definitely held our interest thus far even if the inaccuracies abound. On to disc 3.

http://www.sho.com/site/tudors/home.do

As a parent who knows otherwise, this pisses me off:

Michael Savage’s ignorant remarks on autism

This was one of the best examples I’ve seen in a long time. Many thanks to my sis-in-law, Julie, for passing it along to me. I’m so glad some brilliant person collected a bunch of it together in this format. If you haven’t noticed this stuff going on, I bet you’ll be appalled, and hard-put to avoid seeing it from now on.

Sexism in the media

I’m going to open up my blog to some political discussion. I just wouldn’t be true to myself and my original intentions on creating this space if I didn’t include some topics of political nature. I don’t know how much I’m actually going to discuss the actual items so much as present them for your reflection and commentary. We don’t really have tv here so I listen to SIRIUS satellite radio a lot, in the car and at home. Mostly, I listen to NPR. But I also listen to talk left and OUTQ and a little BBC and CNN when I want to hear “talk.” Well, also Martha Stewart but that isn’t political. I used to listed to Air America and Al Franken, Rhandi Rhodes, etc. but that got cancelled. I don’t listen as much as I have in the past couple years to the specific shows besides my staple of NPR, but mainly, as far as show specifics I listen to are, Mike Malloy, Thom Hartmann, Stephanie Miller (leftist talk LIGHT – more infotainment but it amuses me tremendously as I cook dinner), and the Michaelangelo Signoreli show. What I’m trying to say is that I digest a lot of political banter and headlines in a day and therefore, some of musings on this site are bound to be politically related about what I’ve heard or seen or read. I’m sure you’ll learn soon enough that I’m a feminist, liberal, environmentalist, Gay/bi/transgender rights activist, atheist, breastfeeding mama. I wasn’t about to talk about Obama vs. Hilary. But I do confess my heartfelt anti-McCain sentiments (Cough! Mama for Obama!). I doubt I’ll McCain bash but I might post a clip or article that will speak for itself or reveal my biases.

So, on that note, why don’t I start with a doozy (NOTE: This clip is NOT appropriate for young audiences or the faint of heart!):

McCain calls his wife C word

Back in Corvallis, rested, and now back to the blogging board. I dropped off the map preparing for houseguests: Kham’s old college buddies who had flown up to go on their annual guys’ camping trip, this time in Oregon’s coastal mountain range somewhere between Alsea and Newport. Then I tried to tie up loose ends around the house, including a broken sprinkler system, hiring the neighbor girl to water, put a hold on the mail, etc. and then pack for my L.A. trip. That’s right, I flew solo with both kids for about two weeks at my parents’ house in Los Angeles.

I always end up stressed out and exhausted before I ever leave for my trips. First of all, I’m a completely incompetent packer. Like the rest of the Patterson clan, I’m a chronic overpacker, and yet, I always forget something major even though I work from a checklist, anal girl that I am. This time I neglected socks. I LABOR over my clothing choices. And packing for both kids too just triples my packing quandary. Also knowing that I didn’t have anybody to help me haul it from the curbside and through lines added to my decision making.

Man, heightened security measures at airports certainly make it difficult for parents traveling with “young” children. Between getting them to take their shoes and jackets off, collapse a stroller, dump their sippy cups out (to screams of “I want my juice!”, and then having the terrified kid have to walk through a beeping doorway ALONE… But all-in-all it went pretty smoothly. It was labor-intensive on my part, mainly to keep Kellen out of trouble. Of course all he wanted to do was unclick and reclick his seatbelt, push the stewardess button, and slam the tray table up and down locking and relocking it. THank heavens he was too short to kick seats and that our window blind was broken because I’m certain he’d've been after those too. Still, no screaming or crying or pouting on the plane from him so I consider it a success. It wasn’t as bad as I feared. And Kosettewas wonderful. I was so grateful, relieved, and pleased. She stepped up to the big girl/mommy’s helper plate after my lecture on the way to the airport. She even sat alone across the aisle from Kellen and me (I had him pinned in next to the window). Well, not alone, next to a stranger (businessman). I just had to explain to her a couple of times that not every grown up likes talking to children. She kept tapping him on the shoulder to talk to him about her pictures or her best friend, “Sophie Mai.” My Lord, she told EVERYONE she met about how she had a best friend and her name is Sophie Mai. They were the first words out of her mouth following her own name. She even sat alone while I took Kellen to the bathroom with me. She mostly colored the whole time.

I think that was our best visit to LA since having kids. I know a good time was had by all! We had lots of quality time with my parents, my sister came over during her lunch hours and evening visits, my brother and his wife, Jesse managed to come over a few times too. The kids had a blast playing with their two yellow labs, Lily and Coco (an exuberant large puppy/youth). They spent their daytime hours in the pool and eventually Kosette would swim just with her swimmies and Kellen would tool about with swimmies and a noodle. They grew more comfortable around the pool and dogs and had more icecream and popsicles than I care to think about. We had some big first time events while there too.

Kosette had her first horseback riding lesson, thanks to my old trainer, quasi-godmother, Nora. Boy was I tearing up. I was overwhelmed with the full circle feeling that comes with parenthood. I had promised Kosette for years that she would get to ride a horse when she turned 5. Just weeks later, there she was, up in the exact saddle that I was taught in, by the woman who I first met when my parents hired her for my 5th birthday party to give horse rides around the front yard and who taught me through the years and with whom I eventually went on an equestrian excursion to Ireland, while my dad videoed, my mom looked on holding Kellen, and Jeannette (my best friend Nicole’s mom who also went to Ireland with me) took stills with my camera, while I walked alongside. I don’t know whose dream was more fulfilled that day, Kosette’s or mine. Those were the moments I fantasized about when I was pregnant. I was so proud that she wasn’t scared at all. In fact, it was all we could do to cool her jets and get her to try things with help once before doing it herself. The first day was a little rough in that she wanted to sit alone and do it all herself (I was up in the saddle with her the first day) and she didn’t get to ride a horse of her choosing (she wanted ‘the white one’). She had a difficult time emotionally adjusting the her disappointment from unmet expectations. But day two she got to ride alone and did an excellent job listening to how to steer, brake, and back up, and let your hands with reigns go back to the resting position by the horn. She was so cute if I do say so myself…so concerned with letting the horse rest in the shade, carefully making sure his whole body was in the shadow of the tree and his butt wouldn’t get hot.

The swimming in the pool was sort of a first for them. And we had a night swim where Uncle Kalani put on his scuba gear and picked up all the rings Kellen dropped for him in the deep end. Kellen especially loved the diving flashlight.

And, thanks to the generosity of Kelli’s old best friend who watched Kellen from 7am – 9:30pm (she had a son the same age), we were able to take just Kosette for her first Disneyland experience. Let me just say, it was absolutely, positively, MAGICAL! It really was. The stuff memories are made of and I bet she will remember it slightly. I know I’ll always treasure the experience. My parents, Kelli and her boyfriend, and I gave Kosette our undivided attention for an entire day and let her take the lead on activity choices. We spoiled that girl rotten in attention and managed to escape without buying much. It was a very different experience from what I’m used to. Kosette mainly wanted to meet all the characters so that’s what we tried to do. We watched a parade and, I kid-you-not, she waved for 20 mins. straight! We rested during the heat of the day in the air conditioned Tiki room. Honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever actually gone in there before and it’s been there forever. I remember always seeing parents with strollers there at the hottest part of the day and thought it was just a bar with singing entertainment. I gave her $5 for her to spend however she wished and she chose a 3″ wide lollipop that she savored for HOURS. We did all the storybook rides: carousel, Alice in wonderland, Dumbo, teacups, Snow White, Pinocchio, Peter Pan, then onto Nemo (20,000 leagues under the sea converted into this) and Buzz Lightyear (lazer target shooting). It’s A Small World was closed for construction and she didn’t meet the height requirement for the Jungle Cruise. We watched the Disneyland Band and had paper silhouette cut of us together. All without a stroller. Her little legs held out until the exit gates when I heard the first complaint. And amazingly, there was no leaving Disneyland tantrum that I’ve seen kids do in the past. And, of course, it was all WELL visually documented. The tickets were shocking in cost, even with the California resident discount, and the parking cost was $12, I bought Churros for Kos. and I (that girl LOVES donuts so I knew she’d love that), one Buzz Lightyear spinny toy for Kellen on the plane and little princess figures for Kosette on the plane, my parents got her a Tinkerbell coloring book that she’s still obsessed with and a Nemo doll that Kellen likes, but it was absolutely worth every penny.

And the best part of the whole trip – Kellen is now potty-trained!! YAAAAAAY!!!! Just as we thought it would happen, Kellen made up his mind the day after our arrival to do it. I had told him that Grandpa George and Tutu would be very mad if he pooped in their pool and that he wouldn’t be allowed back in if he did. Evidently, that was enough motivation because he said, “Ok. I won’t.” And he didn’t. 1 1/2 pees on my parents’ hardwood floors and one poop in his underwear in the beginning and that was that. And you could tell that it finally bothered him too. Before, he didn’t give a rip, but this time he was embarrassed and swore up and down that it wouldn’t happen again. No futzing with special seats or little potties either. Straight to the grown up one. He can even stand up and pee, although we’re starting to talk about the aiming thing because he’s playing around making pee circles in the bowl. And he wants to pee and poop on everyone’s grass too. So Kham lucked out on that process. It is so cute seeing Kellen in size 2 little underwear. He loves his Spiderman boxer briefs and Star Wars briefs. He doesn’t like wearing plain ones. Anyway, that is very liberating for us as parents, and I can tell he’s more comfortable too.

We also went the the LA zoo with my matron-of-honor, Nicole, and her toddler, thanks to her passes. I got to see old friends, go to a Karaoke bar with my sister, help my mom garden, my maid-of-honor and tennis partner move, and set up her patio garden, and my personal highlight – got to see WICKED, the musical, at the Pantages with Kelli and my best friend since preschool, Emily. Coincidentally, most of my young memories of Disneyland are linked with her and her family and staying at the Disneyland Hotel and wearing Wonderwoman underoos. Remember those? I was so overwhelmed by my happiness and feeling like I didn’t know how much I had missed going to live theatre until I was there that I was tearing up from the glad emotional surge. I can’t explain it. But it was simply amahzing, as Seth Rudetzky, the SIRIUS radio Broadway host would say. I’m so glad I had my dad’s binoculars too. Even though we had darn good tickets, there was an outfit of Elphaba’s that was incredible in its complexity but which its intricacy would’ve been unknown to me. It was like a zillion layers of crazy quilting and ruching and teeny ruffles of lace on top of a black boned bodice with a high neck and pointed waist and dress of the tight Victorian style where it seems to have a bustle train shape in the back. Having read the book, it was neat to see a theatrical translation. It is the type of production, that you’ve simply got to see in person to be blown away by it. I’m glad I waited to listen to the soundtrack beforehand. It made it much more exciting.

The return trip was great. Kosette had her first piece of gum while in the airport. Kellen promptly swallowed his two pieces. And I remembered that I could drug them with Benadryl. Now that’s the way to fly! Kosette curled up in a ball on her seat and slept the entire trip until I woke her to stand up and walk out. Kellen fought it for the first half hour and then lightly dozed on me the rest of the time. I got to read and drink coffee. It was heaven.

Speaking of reading… I managed to get in a lot of summer reading too. I read the 2nd and 3rd book of the Golden Compass series (The Subtle Knife and The Amber Spyglass), and the 2nd and 3rd of the Phillipa Gregory’s historical fictions The Bolyen Inheritance, and The Queen’s Fool. And I just finished “The Memory Keeper’s Daughter.” I didn’t watch one adult movie or tv show while there. That’s incredible to me. My kids, on the other hand, got hooked on Hook (the Robin Williams modern version of a grown up Peter Pan) and wanted to watch that daily.

I’ll post when I’ve gotten the pictures up on Picasa. I’ll also start posting regularly again so it’s not a novella every time.